Wo Yaqeen ka Safar…

As a hungry me approached the dining table for dinner on a cold night, I was informed that I had a task ahead of me before I could have my dinner. My father told me I needed to buy Gajak (a well known dessert in north-central India) packets for the guests who were arriving in fifteen-twenty minutes. But I was to only get it from a well known shop and not any nearby shop. My father asked whether I knew where the shop was, and I said a nervous yes as I only remembered the location slightly. So I took my mask, the key to my two-wheeler vehicle, and stepped out of my home with a certain feeling that I needed some external aid in order to reach the shop. This aid was in the form of Google Maps. I set the location and began a journey whose end point I knew but the path, I didn’t.

The journey was tough as it was a time bound task and I had to multitask in the form of constantly checking my route as well as driving my two-wheeler. With such a risky form of driving (which I do not recommend anyone do), fumbles are bound to happen and so did they happen in my case. My mobile phone slipped from my hand and was about to crash into the road, before my reflexes helped me catch it just in time. As I continued in my journey, I realized that this was only the start of a number of events that were written in my destiny. Driving in the “galis”, I was accompanied by the typical Indian traffic, fighting scenes between two enraged groups as well as a phone call that I had to attend. I was following Google Maps blindly even though there were doubts creeping inside me, and in the back of my mind I was wondering whether I was going down the correct path. Soon my doubts turned into reality when I realized that I was in a dark street with no shop nearby. Google Maps was showing that I was almost there. But that was not the case, it was clear that I was lost.

As I thought about what to do, I began to grow nervous, afraid and started considering giving up and going back. But giving up was not an option, not without any efforts. So I decided to cross-check my route and as I zoomed in, I realized that I took one wrong left turn. I went back to the last position I was sure was correct and started carefully on my way again. Soon I ended up on the main road where I recalled that the shop was somewhere nearby. I decided to turn off maps, my recent experiences hadn’t lent me any confidence in its abilities and decided to solely trust my instincts. I raced my vehicle with the expectation to locate the shop but still found no success.

Here, I was on the verge of breaking up. Barely 5 minutes were remaining, and I was still hunting for my destination. I prayed to God, “Oh my God! Please help... This will be my final try. I will try the opposite side of the main road even though my expectations of getting there are very low. Indeed you are the best of helpers...". Another deep sigh, and I started with the opposite side. Three to four minutes later, I saw two people standing at the roadside. I asked them the address of the shop to which I received an overwhelming response. “You’re almost there!”. I looked ahead, and I was able to see the shop. Oh, what a feeling!.

I don’t know whether one should be emotional just on locating a shop, but I certainly was when I reached there. I purchased the item and started my journey back with confidence. The same roads now felt cool and beautiful.

I reached home 20 minutes later than when I should have, but still I was satisfied. Moreover, I was grateful to God for what happened as compared to what could have happened, and entered home with a smile.

The above might not seem exciting for a lot of you, but for me the most interesting thing was the extent to which it was analogous to my previous semester. I was in my comfort zone and then came a challenging semester ahead. The mode of teaching, unstable internet connection, the ambiguity of how and when the exams will be, the internship pressure - “When will the companies come?”, provided a set of speed breakers and fumbles in the course of my previous semester. I was more in need of peers than anytime else. So I did get my Google Maps in the form of my best friends who would help me in my assignments and clarify my doubts along with someone else. But as the Google Maps led me to a dark street in the incident, I was in a dark street at the middle of the semester. The someone who I assumed was with me, with whom I thought I can share my experience just in the most silent way proved to me that it was merely an assumption of mine and went away just like that. At that time, I felt that I was overly dependent on Google Maps (i.e. the external help) and strongly felt the need of self realization and self-improvement. And here starts the journey of repentance, atma nirbharta and trust. I took the turn, went to the opposite side of the road, prayed to God and started to work with a more focused and aware attitude. The approach was to live one day at a time and not to worry about things which weren’t in my hands. I tried to recall my good old JEE preparation days, and tried to recall what I did to remain focused in those days.

I reached my destination, gave my exams and went back home knowing that I was late, and it will surely affect my grades. But I still had a feeling of satisfaction and gratitude.

The lessons which I got from the previous semester and moreover from 2020 as a whole, will stay with me throughout my lifetime.

2020 was a year bound with hardships and difficulties, but it was a year that taught us that no matter how many times we fall down, as long as we are alive, we have a chance to stand up again, stronger and more determined than before. This journey requires patience, perseverance and most importantly, belief and that’s how I have named my journey, “Yaqeen ka Safar”.