Seasons of Symphony

Winter

A pale tangerine glow filled the horizon as the Sun rose from the old establishments in the East. Hawkers began their daily routine of selling chai outside the main gate of Presidency University. The yellow Ambassadors started filling the streets with worn-out engine throttles and their typical noisy honks. Some kites soared up in the sky, swirling around as if wanting to fly away but were restrained and directed by the thin strings wrapped around some spool held down in some street. The morning bustle was very customary to the lanes of Kolkata.

Leisha walked down the filled roads of the College Street with earphones plugged into her ears. She wore a black top under a light blue denim jacket which hung on her thin frame. Her curly hair danced on her forehead as she walked, almost as if dancing to some unknown melody that only she knew of. A small brown knapsack dangled down from one of her shoulders and seemed to whirl in unison with her brown body. She stopped at a tiny shop and asked, "Frooty?" The old man fished out a small yellow bottle filled with bright orange-coloured mango juice and put it on the counter. "Pochish taka". Leisha fished out an old twenty rupee note and a 5-rupee coin and handed them to him. She took a sip from the bottle and headed inside the university gate.

Mornings on campus were usually full of commotion. One guy would run with a half-eaten slice of bread sticking out of his mouth as he was late. Groups of friends would assemble in circles to chit-chat about the latest gossip in the college. Couples would decide where to meet after classes while holding each other, and Professors would scuttle across from one classroom building to another. "Hey, you bunking again?" Arko appeared from nowhere in front of Leisha as he extended his porky hand toward her. She unplugged her earphones and handed him the leftover drink in the bottle, "What else do you expect me to do?"

"I don't know... what should you do in college? I mean, it's not like you're paying them for lectures." He finished the juice in one gulp and threw away the bottle in the dustbin.

"Oh, come on, I need to finish this journal I am writing. Anyway, sociology classes are B-O-O-O-R-I-N-N-G!" Leisha pulled the strap of her knapsack to tighten it and started towalk away, shouting, "Will see you in the evening!"

"Kothay?" Where?

"Just come to the cafeteria!"

Leisha went inside one of the old empty buildings. The place was supposed to be used for projects and extracurricular activities, but since everyone was busy attending lectures, the long halls of this building were totally silent. The corridor roof had fixed lamps hanging from them, with wooden planks lining the old palewhite walls. There was red-white graffiti on the pillars, most of them written in Bengali and others in different forms of art.

Leisha passed through the rooms to her right leisurely, trying to find the ambience she needed to let her thoughts flow. As she went past one of the rooms, she paused. A piece of soft music pervaded the air and filled the corridor with an intense but sweet essence. She slowly opened the door of the room and quietly stepped inside. The room was pretty huge, full of musical instruments. She could see a drum-set in one corner of the room, and a pair of old tablas and a harmonium, covered with a pale grey dusty cloth, lay on the other. A couple of flutes were also kept on one of the wooden tables. The room was empty save for this other girl sitting in a wheelchair, playing the grand piano placed in front of the middle of the rear wall. She was facing the other way, so she didn't realise Leisha's presence in the room. She went from C major to A and then to its minor. The tunes were so blissfully beautiful that Leisha sat behind her on one of the chairs and froze in awe. Her fingers clicked the keys on one side and then the other, and then she pressed ten keys together at the end of one chorus and restarted from the left. She was wearing a green sweater with white stripes and a plain white skirt. Her face was a little chubby, and her skin creamy white. Spectacles with thick black frames sat on her nose as she clacked the piano keys. She finished another ensemble with the same absolute grace and ended the song with a final soft tune.

Leisha got up and started to clap loudly. Startled, the girl suddenly turned around and cried, "What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean what am I doing here? You played it so well! I didn't know Miss Angona had this hidden talent."

"Yes, and you didn't need to know either. And you should knock on a room before entering. You scared the hell out of me!" Angona rotated her wheelchair and moved away towards a chair where a bag was kept. "I'm leaving."

"Hey, why? Ki holo?" What happened? Leisha asked as she followed her.

"Well, it's embarrassing."

"What's embarrassing?" Leisha said as she helped Angona pick up her big heavy bag.

"I don't know... You watching me play the piano." Angona held her bag close and turned her wheelchair.

"What do you mean it's embarrassing? I think everyone should see you play."

"Thank you, but no, I do not want anyone to see me play. Let me be." She moved her wheelchair and went out of the room, leaving Leisha behind alone.

"Well, I guess I'll just sit and finish my journal," Leisha said as she took her bag and left the room.

At sundown, the campus started to lose its crowd. The street in front of the college's main gate would get jammed with buses and auto rickshaws picking up students as passengers. Huge crowds would accumulate around the local street food vendors on College Street, shoving phuchkas or egg rolls in their hungry mouths. Leisha was roaming around inside the campus, heading towards the cafeteria. She saw Angona moving in her wheelchair in one of the open corridors and called out, "Angona!" Angona turned around only to find a thin girl, holding her jacket and bag together in one hand and ice cream in another, running towards her.

"You're so dishevelled", Angona said as she looked at Leisha crouching beside her, exasperated.

"Shut up!" Leisha said, struggling for breath, "Ice cream?" she handed out the ice cream to Angona.

"No, thanks, it's January", Angona said as she turned her wheelchair and proceeded forward in the corridor.

"Hey, wait, let's go to the cafeteria!" Leisha shouted as she licked her ice cream, barely holding her bag.

"Ah, why so?" Angona stopped and turned around.

"Well, you're just roaming around anyway. A friend of mine is also there, so we can just hang out together for some time. Get some rolls for ourselves."

"No, I do not want to hang out with anyone-'' she started to move again, but Leisha suddenly got hold of her wheelchair and said,"Hey, don't make any excuses. It's okay to socialise a bit."

"But- Ahhh!" Angona cried out as Leisha pushed her wheelchair and ran with her.

"Don't worry", she said as she blinked into Angona's eyes while taking her across the campus.

The next day, Leisha bunked her morning class again to run into Angona in the music room.

"What're you doing here?" Angona asked as she stopped playing her piano when she saw her.

"Well, I just wondered whether you'd be here, and you are," Leisha said playfully as she put down her bag.

"Why're you not attending your classes?" Angona asked as she moved toward Leisha.

"Well, I don't like them, and I have my own stuff to do." Leisha sat down on a chair and spread herself like an exhausted starfish.

"What stuff?"

"Ah well, I like to write, and so I'm writing this journal, more like a book kinda thingy, but I don't really get time to write it, so I just bunk the classes I don't wanna do." Leisha pulled out a pack of chewing gum from her pocket, popped one into her mouth, and started chewing it. "Want it?" she said as she handed out the packet to Angona. She took one and tossed it in her mouth. "Why do you always play the piano alone? Why did you stop when I came in?" Leisha interrogated as her eyes peeked straight into hers.

"I just don't like playing in front of anyone," said Angona.

"Well, okay then. Save your secrets. Wanna roam around on the campus?"

"Now? But what about your journal?"

"Ah well, I'll complete it afterwards. Now come on, don't hesitate. I'm not kidnapping you. I might, but I'm not," Leisha said playfully as she turned Angona's wheelchair around and pushed her. As they roamed around, the conversation was mostly Leisha taking about herself, her interests and sharing typical gossip about other college mates. "Do you mind if I ask a question?" Leisha asked as she sat on a bench beside Angona.

"You want to ask why am I crippled?" said Angona, looking away at some students walking around in the distance.

"Well, not in that way, but yeah. What happened?" Leisha pulled herself closer to Angona.

Angona paused for a second as if trying to think and then spoke, "I had an accident, road accident, so my lower body below my thighs got paralysed basically."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. When did this happen?" Leisha put her hand on Angona's arm.

"Ah, I was 12 years old, a kid."

"Oh, so-" Leisha got interrupted as Angona spoke again, "Can we go back to the room? I wanna take my stuff from there."

"Yeah, sure," Leisha said as she got up and pushed Angona's wheelchair to walk with her. Over the days, Leisha and Angona started to spend more time together. Since Leisha knew she would find her in the music room in the morning, she'd go there while bunking classes and always sit with or talk to her. Angona, who had lived like a lone doll until then, liked having a friend, someone to talk to. Someone to spend time with.

Summer

The Sun started to scorch the streets as they slowly became emptier, owing to the intense heat that enveloped the City of Joy. One could see an umpteen number of fruit vendors selling ripe Amrapali, Langda, Chausa, and Bainganpalli, and how coconut juice had become a new delicacy of the age. Leisha pressed a switch outside a house as a bell's noise reverberated within the bungalow's walls. She stood in front of the closed door and looked around.

It was an old neighbourhood of central Kolkata, though the house under whose shadow Leisha stood seemed to have been built not more than twenty years ago. A woman opened the door and gaped at Leisha as if she saw a girl for the first time in her life.

"Hello, aunty, I'm Leisha! Angona's friend." Leisha had an unusually charming attitude in response to the cold stare that the woman gave her.

"Oh, come in, come in!" her eyes suddenly transitioned from the surprise she held in them to a sweet welcome smile.

Leisha handed out a white plastic bag that she had to the woman, "I brought these; they are pretty cold, so they'll taste good." The woman opened the bag and fished out a transparent box holding spherical white eatables that looked like soft pearls out of a shell in the Pacific.

"You brought roshogollas? That's so sweet of you! Come sit, let me make you something." The woman held the box and turned around. She was wearing a dark-coloured nightgown that extended till her toes, with a chubby face resembling Angona and a stout short body.

"No, thanks, aunty. I'll just sit with Angona." Leisha continued to walk with the woman as she looked around at the beautiful interiors of the house.

"Angona! Tor bandhobi eshechhe!" the woman screamed at the stairs at the corner of the large hall as she turned to Leisha, "She's up there in her room; go see her."

Leisha went up the flight of stairs and found a small narrow corridor with cream coloured walls on either side. To her left, she found an open door through which she saw Angona seated on her wheelchair, tying her hair into a ponytail. She entered the room, which was decently spacious with light blue walls with photo frames hung on them. There was a small keyboard piano on one of the wooden desks, which stood in the right corner, beside which there was a large window glowing with the luminescence of the hot sunny day.

"You didn't tell me you were coming," Angona said as she turned towards Leisha.

"Well, I do things without your permission, ma'am '' Leisha smirked as she put her bag on the marble floor and threw herself onto Angona's bed. Over the course of the past few months, Leisha and Angona had been hanging out a lot more with each other. Ice and fire, born in and from places with stark contrast, were now dancing in each other's presence.

"Why're you suddenly so shy and awkward with me?" Leisha poked Angona playfully.

"I'm not awkward. It's just that it's the first time someone has come to meet me in my house." Angona said as she looked away toward her shelf. Leisha got up and walked toward her old bookshelf on the other side of her room.

"Woah, your book collection is so amazing. You never told me you read so much!" Leisha clapped her hands as she marvelled at the vast collection of hard and soft bounds arranged on a broad shelf.

"Well, yes, I love to read stories, to know about different kinds of stories." Angona turned as Leisha came back and sat beside her on her bed.

"Yet you never tell me your story."

"My story?"

"What happened in that accident, really? Or why do you never play the piano in front of me or anyone else despite being such a hell of a talent." Leisha stared into Angona's eyes as she looked down. The Sun was covered by the haze of the white clouds. Two kites soared up in the sky as they fought with each other.

"It's just that I've never shared these things with anyone, ever..." Angona kept staring at her lap.

"It's okay, Ango, but if you never tell me, I'll never know, and I really want to know. I want to know about the scars that you hold within yourself. I want to know what stops you and binds you from living like you want to be. I want to see your past through your eyes, to understand how you truly feel." Leisha held Angona's palm as she looked into her eyes.

Angona spoke, "Hmm. I don't really know where to start. I used to be a vivacious kid... Like you. You're the image of my grown-up child version if she had never gone through all that trauma. I started playing the piano when I was seven. My Baba used to say I was a prodigy because I was so good at it. He used to be so proud of me. I had even started performing in different musical programmes and competitions by the time I was eleven. Everything was smooth until that point."

"What happened after that?"

"When I was twelve, I had a breakthrough. I finally got to participate in an inter-state piano competition for children. I thought this was it, this should be a turning point in my life, and it was. Just not in the way I thought it would be. On the day of my performance, I pleaded with my father that he should take me to the venue or else I would be too nervous, and I would ruin it. I pulled him to come to the event. He wasn't planning to go because he already had some work to do, but I made him go with me. And on our way to the venue, our car's brakes stopped working, and it crashed and turned upside down. Baba passed away in that accident, and my legs got paralysed."

A pause.

"I felt like I had lost everything, and it felt like I had killed him. If I had never asked him to accompany me for the piano performance, he would still be here, alive. After that point, I just stopped playing the piano for months. I couldn't walk. My father died because of me. I just didn't know what to do or if I could even do anything. Maa insisted I should play the piano again, so I started again when I was fourteen. But everything was so difficult. I would cry, lying on my bed for hours, believing I was good for nothing, just a stupid crippled bitch."

Leisha held her hand tightly, "I am so sorry, I had no idea about any of this..."

"It's okay... It's just that it was tough for me to get myself to start piano again. But I cannot play it in front of anyone. It just feels that it was my yearning to play in front of the people that killed Baba. It feels as if like...if I ever play in front of everyone again, I might lose something, or someone, again."

A long pause. Angona's eyes were full of tears as she wiped off her face. Leisha leaned forward and hugged Angona tightly. Her face sank into Angona's shoulders as Angona broke down while hugging her.

"I just want to be a normal person, but it always feels like I was cursed." she sobbed as they hugged each other. Intimacy, emotions, and companionship.

"You know you're very, very brave to have gone through all this, to still keep trying and moving forward." Leisha held Angona's face as she looked into her eyes.

"But I don't want to be brave. I just want to be... normal. I didn't need to go through all this. It's just so overwhelming, and I... I can't even do anything about it." Angona sniffed as she spoke while Leisha wiped tears off Angona's cheeks.

"It's okay, Ango, it wasn't your fault. It was just a matter of fate that had nothing to do with who you are, what you do, and what you want to be." Leisha hugged Angona again, "And trust me, your Baba would have always wanted you to play the piano. He would never want you to stop. It's your gift, and no parent would want to take away their child's gift."

Angona nodded her head slowly and wiped off her tears. She said, "You're the first friend I ever made after that incident. I don't even know how grateful I am to have you, Leisha... I don't even know how to thank you for putting up with me."

"Hey, no, you don't need to thank me. I'm so grateful too to have you. And please... please do not ever feel that it was you who killed your father. It wasn't you. It would never have been you. You're such a caring and amazing person. You can't and won't ever hurt anybody. And it wasn't your piano either. I know I have no right to say this, but I really feel you should start playing your piano again, properly, and not hide it from people." Leisha looked into her eyes, "I want to save you. I want to free you from this. I want you to live as you should... by embracing your gift."

"But it's just hard... what if something happens again...?" Angona looked down as she clenched her fists.

"I know, it's alright. You should take your time. But please, don't cage yourself with this thought, Ango. I'm sure nothing will happen, and even if anything has to happen, I'm here with you now, na. I will fix it." Leisha held Angona's hands and kept her head on her lap.

Autumn

Angona sat in her wheelchair, in a closed room alone, speaking over a phone call. The room was small, and she wore a badge with the words 'Contestant number 15' inscribed. She wore a white top and green frock with a small nose pin that shined silver against the light.

"How much more time left?" Leisha's voice was heard from the phone.

"I guess, four hours till my performance, but I'd have to submit my phone in a few minutes." Angona sighed, "I feel so nervous I don't even know what I should do."

"Ah, the drama queen! You'll do good, don't worry. If you cry about it anymore, I'll come and punch your head, so your head starts to think more clearly." said Leisha while giggling.

"Hey, but this is so wrong. I haven't seen you for a month, and you don't even tell me why. Who stays at their cousin's place for so long? I miss you so much, and now I have to perform all alone because some dumb girl made me participate in this. You know this is my first performance after years, right?" Angona leaned on her wheelchair sideways and looked up at the fan, which rotated around slowly.

"Oh yeah, I'm dumb, huh? You'd have been sitting in your home watching weird K-dramas anyway, so better do something productive." Leisha taunted her playfully.

"Okay, now, shut up. I've gotta go to the rehearsal hall, and I'll switch off my phone now for submission. So, I'll talk to you later. Bye-bye!"

"Yes, yes, alright. All the best, Ango! And DO NOT PANIC. You can do this, for sure. And I miss you too. Bye!" Leisha hung up the call.

Silence.

Angona silently mouthed the words, "I love you, Leisha..." She left the room only to enter a colossal corridor crowded with volunteers and participants. She entered one of the halls to her right and switched off her phone.

Leisha asked the woman in white uniform sitting beside her, "Can I just write an email before I go? It's really urgent. I'll finish it in ten minutes." The woman nodded her head with a small pleasant smile on her face. Leisha was wearing a white robe, lying on a bed with a light blue blanket covering her legs and her bald head shining against the light. She started typing:

"Hey, Ango. It's me. I know you're probably wondering why you are reading this mail. Honestly, I don't know this myself. But, there is something I hid from you. I was not at my cousin's place all this time. I was getting my treatment... I was admitted to the hospital for chemotherapy. I always wanted to tell you, but I could never muster the courage to say this to you, and you were already going through so much that it just felt like I should not burden you with anything else. Also, it's not like I will surely die. I mean, I might live. Who knows. Maybe God is just playing cards with me. I might win. Haha. You know you always ask me, 'how do you stay so cheerful and full of energy?' Well, I don't have much time left, and I had so less time to spend with you. I just wanted to live all of it entirely and show you how you can also live your life fully, Ango. I know you've had your lows; in fact, you suffered so much... you're one of the bravest people I know of, and I'm so proud to have you in my life. I'm so proud of myself too that I could help you, so you could play again. I'm so happy for both of us, for the things we achieved together with each other. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and you don't even realise it. I don't care if you can't walk, because I want to walk with you. I don't care if you can't get up because I can crouch and hug you. I don't care if you cannot stand up because you can take a stand for yourself. And if I could, I would not hesitate to spend the rest of my life with you, beside you, and close to you. And, whatever happens, you need to promise me that you'll never stop playing. You'll always keep playing the piano. I don't want you to stop. I want you to fly. I want you to do so many things. You're an angel, who grew her wings to fly with me, healed her soul to be blissful with me, and I'm just a pilgrim to the temple of your beautiful soul. You might think you're just a crippled bitch, but you're my bitch. So, please take care of yourself. I LOVE YOU, LEISHA!"

Angona sat in her wheelchair on the stage, spotlights on her. Her hands shook, and her body shivered. A thought crossed her mind. It was someone's face. It was her. "You can do it!" she heard. She looked at the audience, but she couldn't see anything. The absolute silence permeated the air, and the darkness that her eyes beheld seemed to expand outwards. The only thing visible to her was the piano in front of her. Black and white keys, together side by side. Black and white, like her life, until she met her, she wondered. She raised her hand and gently put it on the keyboard. Her fingers lightly rubbed a white key as she closed her eyes tightly. "It's okay." she heard. She pressed the key.

Leisha couldn't see anything. Her eyes were closed, and so was her consciousness. She was in a dream with Angona. No, she was drifting apart. Her headspace was dying out, she was in pain, but she could not feel it anymore. She could not think or sense anything. It was a state of absolute silence in her mind, blessed with an image of Angona's chubby face. She could feel her existence receding, but she did not want to do anything about it. She was oblivious to everything, slowly drifting away. The surgeons outside operated upon her in the tension and heat of the Intensive Care Unit. Her heartbeat beeped every two seconds as she lay down with a happy dead face.

Angona clicked another key and went on to create a melodious series of harmonics that reverberated throughout the auditorium. Her hands moved from one side of the board to another, her upper body swinging in the air like a pendulum oscillating in resonance with the tunes she created with her fingers clacking on one key and then another. BANG! She let out a solid start to the chorus and went up with the beats she made. Some miles away, someone's heartbeats were slowly receding in the rate as another person added more beats to their piece.

Was this Beethoven?

No.

Was this Mozart?

No.

It was Angona.

And she played so gracefull that even the Gods of all worlds would summon themselves to worship the storm of musical waves she created in that auditorium. "Leisha", she thought to herself, 'thank you for finding me and helping me find myself.' On the other hand, Leisha was slowly losing herself. Her consciousness no longer seemed to exist. Her heart dropped slowly, and the machine's beeps also changed. Somewhere in the city, two kites were fighting, and one of them was about to fall. The Sun slowly started to set as twilight hit in. The doctors kept operating upon Leisha's frail body, with her beautiful eyes closed before the world. Angona kept on hitting different kinds of notes and pushed her excellence every second. Another chorus, another series of beautiful sargam that spread through the air. Baba. Accident. Wheelchair. Elements of her anxiety slowly started to revolve around her mind.

Stop.

STOP.

Don't think.

Keep playing. Remember her face. Keep playing. As Angona reached the end of her mesmerising performance, Leisha's heart almost stopped. Angona kept pressing the keys slowly and then fast, and then again while her entire body was covered with sweat, tired but not exhausted. It lived with the music now. It became a part of it. At last, she raised her hands and banged them down on the piano keyboard, sending the final envoi of her literal piece of art. A moment of silence as she stopped. Leisha's heartbeats almost stopped, and doctors kept fidgeting with their minds and actions under the ICU lights.

A beep.

A moment of silence.

The audience started to clap.

Applause.

Suddenly, the entire auditorium was filled with thunderous applause. The beats of their claps reverberated inside the auditorium walls.

Beats.

The heart started beating faster. Leisha was returning.

Applause.

The beeps changed.

The doctors' eyes widened as they dilated with hope. Heartbeat. Applause. Angona smiled and cried at the same time as she heard the entire crowd roaring for her. Hope. The kites in the city fly again. The Sun perished below the horizon, but two stars glowed lustrously as the dark sky enveloped the city.