Hiraeth

A deep homesickness; an intense form of longing or nostalgia for a place long gone, or even an unaccountable homesickness for a place you have never visited.

Why is growing up so dull? Where did all the colours go? Why does everything seem so washed out now than it was as a child? Where did the excitement go? Where did the innocent energy and enthusiasm go? Where is the child who was excited by the smallest of things? Where is the child who saw a much more vibrant world bustling with energy? Where is the child who had such silly dreams which brought such boundless joy? Where is the anticipation, for the next festival, for their birthday, for every single day? Where is the child who always looked forward to the next day? Who did not have a care in the world? Where did all that imagination go? Where did my childhood go and when? What went wrong?

Growing up is the greatest dream of childhood and the greatest regret of adulthood. Looking at an adult's eyes shows us a drained husk of being when compared to all the intense emotions found in a child's eyes. Is the child who knew to love and cherish everything with the full force of life still alive? Or did we kill that beautiful force of nature just to grow up?
A child looks at the world in such wonder, with so much awe and admiration for everything, be it small or big. A child needs next to nothing to be happy; the simple world in all its beauty is all that’s needed. Which adult can claim such a thing? How does a child have everything an adult chases in life? Why do we kill that child in us and then chase the same child throughout our lives? Is that what growing up is all about? Was childhood just a fever dream? Where exactly did it all stop? Did it stop the moment our mothers put us down for the last time? Or did it stop the moment we went to school? Or did it stop when you went out to play with your friends for the last time? Or does childhood have an expiration date? Did it stop the moment we started making schedules for everything? Or did it end when we let the world tell us what to feel and what to think?

Where did it all go wrong?