Quarter Life Crisis

“The people in your life should be a source of reducing stress, not causing it more”

Are you starting to question the purpose of life? Are you frustrated that your best years are long gone, and you haven’t achieved anything in life? Are you torn between wanting to be an adult and being a child protected by your family’s bubble? Are you finding it difficult to make decisions? Is getting motivated becoming difficult? Do you have this fear of getting left behind? If you’re feeling any of the above, this article might help you put a name to that and give you some ideas to deal with it.

A quarter-life crisis is a phase that many people of our age encounter in their lives. It’s a name given to the temporary ‘STRESS’ we all experience. Many of you might not have heard of this phrase, but I am sure you are familiar with what it's about. According to Wikipedia, In popular psychology, a quarter-life crisis is a crisis "involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one's life," and is most commonly experienced by people in their early twenties up to their mid-thirties.

The Stigma around Quarter Life Crisis

Studies show that a typical person who struggles with a quarter-life crisis is highly driven and smart and generally gets trapped in this spiral during times of transition like making sense of post-college life, living alone for the first time, or coming to terms with changes they’ve never thought would happen. Especially in this age of social media, where being joyful, happy and in sync is highly popularized, we often feel this immense pressure to be perfect (if there’s even a definition for this word). Do it! Keep going! Failure is not an option!! Such thoughts plague minds, and what do they result in? Uncertainty, emotional pain and questioning.
Another major problem with quarter-life crises is that it often leads to thoughts like “This is the time for relaxation and enjoyment, why should I even be struggling?”, and consequently, we try to brush off these stress-causing feelings. This simply leads to more problems.

How do you know you’re experiencing a Quarter-Life Crisis?

It’s very important that you realize you’re trapped in a quarter-life crisis. The first paragraph basically jots down some of the very common symptoms of a quarter-life crisis. And because of the covid pandemic and subsequent decline in social interactions, the frequency of such crises is increasing. You may feel trapped and this leads to separation. Wanting to feel alone, you isolate yourself from everyone. Something as simple as excessive social media usage or watching TV for long hours provides you with a medium to escape reality.
Just take any 3rd year or 4th-year student, for instance, they are in their early 20s and are dealing with significant changes in their life. Some are busy cracking their heads to come up with the best resume for internships and jobs; some are preparing for GRE, some are preparing for GATE, some for CAT and UPSC; while some are busy in finding a boyfriend/girlfriend. There’s a sense of uncertainty that often leads to anxiety and stress.

Phases of Dealing With Quarter Life Crisis

Phase 1 :
Recognise and admit that you’re feeling uneasy. There’s nothing wrong with feeling low. The first step towards overcoming is admitting you’re going through such an experience. This first step will do wonders for your mental state. Remind yourself that your feelings are normal.

Phase 2:
Remember, change is possible. Now that you’re prepared to face your feelings, you will start believing you can pull through it. Bring about small changes in your lives. Alternate between easy, medium and hard tasks. Reduce your usual workload. Consider talking to someone about how you feel. Reach out to your family, if that makes you uncomfortable; perhaps reach out to your friends, who might also be going through something similar.

You may also contact an expert or a professional and try to dissect your doubts and feelings. Today, there might be a lot of stigma around seeking help from a counsellor but actually, it is something people are slowly accepting and embracing. Their suggestions are just like the right pill for your diagnosis!

Phase 3:
After talking about your doubts and feelings, it’s time to rediscover yourself. This is not an instant process. You’ll see for yourself how the slow, gradual improvements are making you feel much better. Take a vacation. Here, vacation doesn’t just mean going to an exotic place. Take a break from your schedule; your daily routine. Take time to figure out what you want. Try out the things that interest you. These interests might be different from what you were interested in before. That’s okay. Change is the only constant.

Phase 4:
Rebuild your life from the ground up. Not necessarily ground up, but from where you think you must begin with. Ensure you don’t fall back to the routine life you were in before. Pursue your newly discovered interests. Keep in touch with your friends, family, counsellor and give them an update on how things are going. Do things that make you happy. We don’t mean you should always try to be happy. Life is a rainbow of emotions and it is important you experience them all, just maybe in moderation.

Phase 5:
And finally, develop new life goals that are more in line with your newly discovered interests.

In conclusion, we want you to understand that going through a quarter life crisis is okay. It is okay to accept you’re going through one and approach someone when you need help. The fear of judgement should not hold you back. What matters is your mental well being. Seek out a person who won’t judge you. You can contact GCU for any help you might need. No matter how silly you might initially think the issue is, reaching out is important. And FYI, nothing is silly.