Chapter 3: Embracing Hope

“Hope. Her name is Hope. Hope Mikaelson.”

For a millennium-old vampire whose life has been nothing but suffering and misery to settle for the fleeting, alluring, majestic and simply inexplicable feeling of hope and to name his daughter after the same, is quite something. Something worth pondering over. 

Taken from The Originals, a prequel to the popular teen drama, The Vampire Diaries. And no, the author has no idea why he remembers this line. Yes, the author has watched both shows.

The first stop on the path to deal with mental health issues, is hope. Akin to the ropes that mountain climbers latch themselves onto so they don’t fall off, hope helps you hold on during your climb. It’s the very feeling that’ll let you look up and say, “Oh, I’ve come this far!” instead of “Oh, I have a long way to go!”

One of the common manifestations of underlying mental health issues is despair. Despair neatly sums up the fact that your day seems to be tainted grey, your work seems a little pointless, and you’re confused about the outcome of it all.

Scientifically, even an acute case of running out of hope, can trigger despair which can potentially set off a spiral that takes a lot of effort to escape from. To take a step back and ask yourself, “Why do I feel hopeless?”, “What am I disappointed about?”. “What do I actually perceive as hopeless and what can I do about it?” is definitely something extraordinary. 

So, let’s try to understand what hope is. I mean, if we are to learn how to hold onto it and conquer despair, knowing it would be step 1. 

Basic Hope

A term coined much after the explanation was synthesised, basic hope refers to the higher order of the world and its general positivity towards the self. The belief is that things happen for a reason, and those reasons aren’t out to intentionally hurt or bully anyone. Basic hope is considered to be a key aspect of one’s worldview. What we perceive as everyday occurrences, gentle gestures, caring words, tedium and excitement are decided by hope. Our hope shapes whether we perceive something as disappointment or satisfaction. 

This form of hope is definitely not easy to adopt or learn. Every time hope is protected, every time it is fulfilled, it blooms and grows enough to protect itself. But it is important, as it is the best shield available to fight despair. 

Auxiliary Hope

This term encompasses other miniature manifestations of hope - namely optimism about the future, hope to accomplish, hope to succeed and hope to avoid misfortune. 

This is the form that the internet will throw around as the motivation and solution to getting better. While that is true to some extent, it needs time to build, slowly, steadily and surely. 

Growing Hope

Gathering the hope that’s been spilt all over the floor takes time. It takes a slow understanding of emotions, a clear idea of expectations, disappointments and satisfactions, as well as a shift of perspectives. 

At this moment, we may coin a new term, forgivingness. Many studies show the “negative portrayal of self” i.e., the feeling that one does not deserve the things that life has to offer, in turn affects one’s perception of what awaits them in the future and in turn, affects one’s idea of what the Universe has in store for them, slowly eating away at the bowl of hope that one holds onto. 

The essence of forgivingness, turned inward, is in reframing perceived harm and developing new understandings of oneself and the world around. Trying to process a broader sense of happening and reasoning, combined with putting oneself in someone else’s shoes, recovers some sense of personal safety and control. This allows for a renewed perspective and thereby, a positive outlook on the world. The world becomes a lot more comprehensible and thus, becomes a cradle for a nascent hope to grow. 

This is where professional help comes in. The idea is not to solve the problem by cutting it off its roots, but to address the problem all the way,  from the leaf to the root. The ability to understand someone else’s thought process, steer it gently in the correct direction when necessary and allow it to thrive on its own, is something that professionals can do. 

But, climbing is one’s own effort. It is a vicious cycle; to embark on the walk towards growing hope, one needs a spark of hope to begin with. 

The importance of the first flicker of hope, cannot be stressed upon enough. If you’ve been feeling layers of despair and nihilism, accompanied by an emptiness and a bleak outlook, but you had a momentary pleasure, pounce on it. Make it your own, and repeat it. Strange as it may seem, this temporary obsession may very well be the disturbance you need to shake off the spiral and start climbing. Dial up the obsession until you start looking forward to it, and voila, you have yourself a crudely put together circuit of hope. Professionals are capable of facilitating such a circuit without it turning into a “coping mechanism”, wherein the obsession becomes an escape from the climb itself. 

A light, no matter how small, at the end of a tunnel, is enough to motivate the journey across. That’s where we come in. 

As people who live social lives, interacting, working, spending time and enjoying with other people, it falls upon us to be observant and mindful. Hope cannot be stolen, but hope can be shared. Expectations can be shaped, outlooks can be inspired and perceptions can be altered. 

Hope, can be contagious, if done right. 

Mind you, with the power to share hope, comes the power to shatter it. A simple but important habit would be to be kind. Be understanding and be careful. Listen to others, earnestly. Protect another’s hope, whenever possible, preferably always. 

Never downplay anyone’s hope. A matchstick may be miniscule compared to a lavishly filled kerosene lamp, but to a little girl lost on a winter day, it’s the only thing that’s keeping life going.